Betrayal
There was nobody there
no one to care
Just you, my abuser
my fears to share
The only one
to make me feel wanted and safe
And yet the stranger
who committed the rape
You were my comforter
and the monster of my nightmares
Who would come to my bed
and take me unawares
You got on top of me
and made me feel crushed
Your body smothered me
and kept my mouth shushed
It was so brutal
I thought I would die
Yet I lay there helpless
without even a sigh
I was paralysed
in terror and pain
It was enough to drive
anyone mad or insane
And through it all
my trust remained
You were my friend
and my faith in you reigned
You played with me
and made out it was fun
But I was frightened
so I blocked it and made myself numb
What I feel for you now
I do not know
If I felt anger perhaps
I wouldn't feel so low
But I needed love
and you were there
My yearning was your advantage
to use so unfair
You introduced me to
a world of confusion and fear
Where I had to survive
without even a tear
No one to save me
from the trauma and hurt
No one to give me
any sense of self worth
Many years have passed now
and life has moved on
But the scars they remain
and may never be gone
By Meg (August 2006)
