April 02, 2003
Me - by A

Just eight years old,
And so alone,
In a dark, dark place,
Where evil reigns,
And he keeps doing bad, bad things,
And she's so alone...

Just wishing it'd stop somehow,
But he keeps on doing those horrible, disgusting things,
Day in, Day out,
There's no escape,
Can they not see what he's like?
Can they not see what he's doing?
Can they really not see...???

And she knows,
She knows that it's wrong,
But she doesn't understand just how wrong,
She doesn't understand why it's happening,
Why this monster keeps forcing himself on top of her,
Making her do things she doesn't want to,
And exposing himself to her,
In a way that's going to haunt her forever...

So, no, she doesn't understand why any of this is happening,
But, more importantly, she doesn't understand how his evil actions are going to affect her FOREVER,
How, by doing what he did, he was robbing her of everything she deserved,
EVERYTHING!!!
Every chance of happiness destroyed...

She didn't know that she would be sitting here ten years later like THIS,
Struggling to lead a normal life,
Struggling to put the past behind her,
Struggling to be ok,
Fighting so hard not to let him win,
Fighting so fucking hard,
To forget the memories,
The filthy memories,
If she'd known it'd be like this today,
Do you not think she'd have simply given up back then?...

But, no, something deep inside her kept fighting,
Some special kind of determination,
Kept fighting to survive,
Kept keeping her alive...

And now here she is today,
Facing her demons,
Living each day in pain,
Faced with the memories of what he did to her,
Feeling the fear,
With people telling her that she's 'brave' and 'strong',
But she's not,
She's anything but brave and strong,
Just because she's chosen to fight back,
She simply had two choices,
To fight back, however hard that might be,
Or to let him win,
And that simply couldn't happen,
She'd simply come too far....

Posted by Deirdre at April 02, 2003 02:22 PM
Comments

Amazing and powerful poem A, just amazing !!


Posted by: on April 2, 2003 04:07 PM

heya amanda...that poem is amazing, its powerful and its so honest. thanks for posting it ok, its amazing...

love,
ruth

Posted by: on April 2, 2003 09:42 PM

thanx Ruth xx

Posted by: amanda on April 3, 2003 08:31 AM

Really really powerful poem A. You are spot on in everything you say. You are right when you say 'you have come too far'......be good to yourself......take care....love ....G

Posted by: G on April 3, 2003 10:08 AM

i was abused at 8 years old in a dark place, in the toilets of a local kids cinema matinee, on a sat afternoon. so i can strongly relate to the verse, thanks for having the courage to write it. i still at the age of 50,cannot go into public tiolets.

Posted by: Mike on April 4, 2003 06:57 PM
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