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29 Years

I still have those same feelings for you
Frozen in time like the life inherited from you
Encased in an icy tomb of fear
Strangely, I must keep these feelings near.

These feelings have become my closest friend
Almost guiding me to an early end
Protecting me at any cost
I always know where they are even when I am lost.

Feelings I hid deep in my confused heart
From that perfect world they have set me apart
How could I ever cross over there?
Expose these feelings? I wouldn't dare.

Then one so close was taken from me
Never again can I turn and see thee
Nor feel the love you had for me
O feelings, have broken me.

When all escape routes lead to a dead end
Isolated, alone my back is turned on my friend
My broken spirit on its knees cries in pain
Too regularly now these feelings hunt again.

Now I can feel the warm embrace of true love
Here on this earth and maybe from above
Help is now always close at hand
And these feelings I must learn to understand.

Even dark days seem to have a new light
That up till now was kept from my sight
Night-time now gives me a more peaceful sleep
New feelings arrive that I want to keep

by Colm Kerr


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Support and resources for people who have experienced sexual abuse and/or sexual violence.