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I Don't Belong

Oh what depths of despair
you have caused me
With wounds so deep
that no one can see
Words can't describe
the damage you've done
You've left a life of darkness
where the is no sun
You have eclipsed my life,
my entire existence
To block the effects
I have to use strong resistance
But deep down inside
I am silently screaming
oh, if only I could say
I'm just dreaming
But the horror was real
though its hard to accept
It just takes a close look
to see the terrible effect
The shattered soul
is so deeply troubled
The mind is confused
and badly muddled
You caused such trauma
to that innocent child
Her head you messed up
and her body you defiled
Now I'm standing here
trying to make sense of it all
Those terrible scenes
that I don't want to recall
You left me with feelings
of wanting to die
And for most of my life
I never knew why
Now I know its because
the fear was so great
Every time I experienced
the horror of rape
Sometimes my body feels
so tired and drained
From all those terrible
feelings you so ingrained
I live in terror
that I'll never be free
And this feeling of isolation
will forever haunt me
Now my heart is heavy
and my fear is strong
Cos you left me feeling
I don't, in this world, belong
               By Meg (October 2006)

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Support and resources for people who have experienced sexual abuse and/or sexual violence.