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Inner Child

Oh, why didn't I ignore this child in me?
I just want her to go away and leave me be.
She keeps on looking for my attention,
and brings up topics I don't want to mention.
Sometimes she exposes me to her pain and isolation,
things I want to avoid, but she has no consideration.
Oh, why won't she go away and leave me alone?
I don't want to remember but, she's like a dog with a bone!
She has me confused now, along with herself,
and she keeps asking me please, to give her some help.
But I just want to get on with my life,
and leave behind me all that terror and strife.
She won't leave me alone, she won't let it go.
She keeps dragging me down and leaves me feeling so low.
Oh, what will I do if she won't go away?
I have tried to listen and give her her say.
But what she brings up is too much to bear,
there are things I just don't want her to share.
The sadness she felt throughout her childhood,
the traumas she suppressed cos she knew that she should.
The dark images she consistently blocked,
and for several years kept them well locked.
The fears and the worries that she had to hide,
all carefully buried deep down inside.
But that inner child won't leave me in peace!
I wish she'd stop the torment, I want it to cease.
If only she'd go away and give me some rest,
I am weary and tired now and not at my best.
I'm sorry dear child, but I need a break.
Reliving your experiences right now is more than I can take.
Maybe some day we'll be able to make a connection,
and hopefully cultivate for you a sense of protection.
But for now I just want to forget,
and to be without anymore stress or upset.
                                        Meg (November 2006)
 
 

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Support and resources for people who have experienced sexual abuse and/or sexual violence.