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Invisible Bars

You left me in a self imposed prison,
with no hope of parole.
And though you're long gone now,
I'm still under your control.
It's like solitary confinement,
with no chance of reprieve.
A life of fear and isolation,
that no one would believe.
The bars, they are invisible,
to anyone's eye.
And the wall that I built,
so solid and high.
All this because of your desire,
for forbidden lust.
Regardless of the damage,
you did to my trust.
At times I feel empty,
there's nothing inside.
With all the abuse you inflicted,
I think part of me died.
I managed to block out,
all the fear and the hurt.
But couldn't get rid of the feeling,
I'm dirt!
Death would have been,
a welcome release.
Just to escape from,
that terrible beast!
To escape from the darkness,
and menace that lurked.
But no matter how hard I tried,
nothing else worked!
Yet I'm one of the lucky ones,
because I've survived.
And though I wonder sometimes,
I'm still alive.
I've got someone to love me,
who climber over that wall.
One who's so good and true,
my defenses had to fall.
He is there for me,
through all the trouble and strife.
He is the one who,
brought meaning to my life.
Now it's time to fight back,
and get rid of those bars.
Get rid of the bad feelings,
and the multiple scars.
Maybe one day,
I will be set free.
And then perhaps,
I can really be me!
                By Meg (October 2006)
 
 

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Support and resources for people who have experienced sexual abuse and/or sexual violence.